I have become a bundle of nerves with every entry. Despite the fact that I work on the piece throughout the week, I am not short on ideas yet and haven’t advertised this website at all. I’m doing this strictly for my pleasure at the moment. I still get this feeling should I post this, should I make my opinion known. It kind of comes with the territory don’t you think. It’s like ecstasy when I push that publish button. I feel just a little bit better about myself for making those strides every week. Hello there welcome to Faithfully Madame, where we commit to being our authentic versatile selves. I am grateful, that you are joining me today. It has been such a busy couple of weeks. The end of the holidays is quickly approaching as well the birthday of my two beautiful twins. I am not short on things to do as is the case with most mothers. This week a goal just sprung to mind. Since the unfolding of the toddler phase, I have been perplexed with ways to discipline my children. I decided that I wanted to dive deeper into my methods and see if I could discover a change.
I am a Millennial. I know some people think I should be ashamed of that fact, that I shouldn’t be so ecstatic to shout it from the rooftop. I am content being a Millennial. I feel like a cradled baby sitting in between two worlds. While Gen Z is spreading their wings and taking us into the IT world, my cradled baby, Gen Alpha, will be right there ready to have it all which will be very exciting to watch. Hopefully by then graduating college will be a thing of the past. Millennial’s reputation for failing is all propaganda if you ask me. I see my fellow stars and we are just not conformist. We do what we want, when we want it, how we want it which is a luxury afforded to us by our baby boomer parents. Call it entitlement nevertheless we call it finding ourselves. Furthermore, we are content spending the rest of lives finding ourselves, no matter what the cost. It’s said we will pay that high cost in our old age.
What is the Millennial Mom’s take on punishment? Before you answer that question for yourself if you happen to be a Millennial. Let us address the type of discipline we received as children. How were you disciplined as a child? In my home, my discipline could be pinpointed to 3 major sources: The Bible or Church, Education, and my Mother. I grew up a Southern Baptist and we attended church every Wednesday and Sunday as well as days in between. We went to choir and praise dance rehearsal, as well as any extra activities our faith provided. Anytime there was an opportunity to volunteer our services we were there. I can remember that the Bible pushed me to be obedient. Though I struggled with this and still do to this day. I can say I was a lot better at it than most children even my sibling. When the Bible wasn’t there to discipline us then the belt was. Our household was not shy about whippings. I also received whippings in school for a period of time. Then it was called paddling. So The Bible said, “Listen & Obey, the School said, “Listen & Learn”, and my Parent said, “Do what they say or I’ll hurt you”. That was about the jest of my training, from church to school to home.
In the home, I was raised by a hard-working single mother. Who at times had two jobs, sometimes three. She and I didn’t have a close relationship. It is hard to get close to a Scorpio especially one I thought was a Sagittarius all my life. I mean if I needed to talk to someone, I was out of luck she didn’t present herself as a confidant to me. She never pushed the boundaries of parent and child. I knew my place and she owned hers. Because I didn’t have a close relationship with my mother I never learned any lessons from her, meaning I never got any advice from her. This isn’t said to say my mother was at all a bad mother. As I have said I don’t believe that you can scale parenthood. We do the best we can do for who we are and our children learn what they can from that. In some ways, the Bible did help me with my moral compass. As I have grown into an adult, I see no value in the whippings or my schooling. Neither prepared me for the world and the Bible gave me a good vs evil, good prevails mindset that has hindered the way I relate to people and build relationships. I grew up feeling crucified like Jesus for my kindness, feeling taken advantage of. My entire upbringing seemed to have failed me. I was left to teach myself from scratch, with a trial and error method.
In my household today, I am all about real-world learning. We try hard to step of away from the slave and slave owner mentality. I can’t say I don’t whip my children, but most times it is out of frustration for the bigger wrongs I feel they do. It is not my go-to punishment but I do use it when it seems fitting. However, it hurts me. I always feel shame and regret afterward. Sometimes I’m unsure of whether it was necessary or appropriate. I know I was whipped, my mother was whipped, shoot even my ancestors were whipped. Did it make us stronger? Did it help us? I do not think so. At times I wonder why I do it, feeling the way I do. I do like utilizing the corner and taking away and giving privileges. Yet I always find myself coming back to the belt even when I’ve put it away for months. Is the belt my shortcoming? Do I need to evolve my way of punishment?
So what is the Millennial take on punishment? Most of the Millennial moms I know have a mixture. They use some of the old ways of their childhood but they also mix it up. We are coming into a world where people aren’t okay with whipping children anymore. The world is bringing the parent’s ability to raise their child into question. When just a few decades ago it was still apart of the school system. In my mother’s generation it was so common it was done in front of the class or the middle of Sunday school. Is this a period of time we should be missing? Is this a tradition we should be keeping? Or is the whipping of the child becoming a thing of the past? The Millennial generation is on the cusp of a new society. The old ways are dying and the new ways are frightful. It is the perfect time to be a creator. I hope you enjoyed the reading.
“Freedom is nothing but a chance to be better.”Albert Camus
I am an American and proud of that, this is the land of the free, essentially. We the people have all the power to expand and express our freedom within reason. Who are you free? Let us go forth and me the best people and parents we can be. Not because we have to but because we deserve to. Peace is love, Madame Woo.