I am unsure if you are aware of the film ‘The Truman Show’ but “Good morning, and in case I don’t see you good afternoon, good evening, and goodnight”. I laugh every time this movie comes to mind. Jim Carey is iconic and this is my favorite film from him, though I am a fan of many more. Hello, there and welcome to Faithfully Madame. I hope your day has been bright, as well you have been one hundred percent confident in truly being authentic. I love you for coming, you should love you for participating. We should consistently look for ways to improve and speak our truth, even when it seems no one is there to listen.
I am more than willing to announce being an emotional character. It is not something that I struggle to avoid nor could I if I tried. Remember you are incapable of avoiding yourself. If there is an issue you have with your ego either solve it or accept it, working continuously to improve. I know that some people are born lacking emotion however, this is rare and the majority of beings here experience emotion regularly. The overwhelming emotion I feel usually revolves around my fears of inadequacy. I hate not getting the job done, whatever it may be, to the best of my ability. Now believing that emotions are the driving force behind our fears is nothing special. It makes for common sense because the definition of fear is an unpleasant emotion. In believing this, I have drawn in my opinion two rational conclusions. One of which is that if you can not control your emotions, you will live unable to control your fears. The second is that since you can not live without emotions then, therefore, you can not live without fear. If you are thinking well I am not fearful, I do not live afraid. Okay, well, do not believe. That is perfectly okay. However, there is nothing wrong with fear.
Fear is necessary for continuation. Driving fear and making a logical choice is in a nutshell survival. The definition of survival is the state or fact of continuing to live or exist, typically in spite of an accident, ordeal, or difficult circumstances. If I believed in good vs evil, then I would have to believe that everything can be both good and bad. The only way to conquer anything is through balance. Instead of depriving yourself and claiming fearlessness attack your dismay head-on because, in fact, it does exist. Then the question is, how do we balance our emotions ultimately stabilizing our fears?
I am human, I know nothing. I strive every day for self-control and self-discipline, but I fall short. I never give up because I have this determination to become a master at being me. Also, no one can master me but me so, there lies my purpose in life. I am claiming common sense in saying everyday work on self-control is always a good place to start. I delight in a good definition. Self-control is the ability to control oneself, in particular one’s emotions and desires or the expression of them in one’s behavior, especially in difficult situations. Also, the word self-mastery means self-control. You know now self-control is what you desire and practice will bring about achievement. We do not just do this for ourselves but our children as well. Is that not the first true lesson that we teach? Should our children reach our age and not understand self-control? We should be that positive example, not because we are hiding but because we are conquerors. If they see us overwhelmed with emotion, out of control often, will they not follow the example? Do they not test our self-control?
The world is very demanding, it asks so much from us, oftentimes wanting our very souls. Think about that the next time you walk through the doors of your home, entering or exiting. Don’t allow the world to seep in, protect your space and your mind. This is easier for people who have mastered self-control. They can create space anywhere and clear their mind by controlling their thoughts. For beginners, I suggest creating a sanctuary. A sanctuary is a place of refuge or safety. My sanctuary is my home, this I demand. It is the place where I spend the majority of my time when I am not at work. Because I am an emotional being I can’t use church, spa, gym, park or places outside of the home. Places like those are not always readily available to me because of my hectic schedule and would be more like a treat or getaway. I hope you would take heed to make you home your sanctuary. I know that for some of you your home life is just as stressful as your outside life, but you are a master and creator. You can make anything exactly what you desire it to be, with just a little initiative. Know your mental strength and live within it.
My everyday life routine is spent with my children, except for the hours we are at work or school. We all need a haven. I create this place for myself. In this place, I am at my most vulnerable. Yet as a mother, I must share this place with my children. My most supreme physical space, my sanctuary, my home, is shared with them. It protects us all, it must be safe. The definition of safe states protected from or not exposed to danger or risk; not likely to be harmed or lost. Safe in the knowledge that one can do something without risk or worry on account of a specified fact. If your dwelling is not a safe place for you then it is not a home, it is a house, it is a shelter. Creating a home environment is very crucial in my opinion. Many people lack boundaries when it comes to the topic. In sharing your sanctuary, then it must also be a safe place for your children to be themselves, to be vulnerable, and understood. This is part of the job of motherhood, creating a home. You have created you a sanctuary, you have a place to be vulnerable without judgment. What does that look like? Are you hiding at home? Are you hiding from your children? Is hiding your true self and your true emotions helping you or your child? Things seem safe when they are bottled up. These questions have pressed me. The answers have hurt me. It is only through pain that we find the joy of happiness.
I read once somewhere that the only way to have control is to give up control. Somehow it always seems to come down to some contradicting statement. That is balance right, being both at the same time, which at times seems quite impossible. How do you control your children? Do you make them check their feelings in your home? Are they unable to be vulnerable? Are they unable to be themselves? Can they find sanctuary from the world in your home? Finding balance with your emotions and fears can never be so simple. Approaching the difficulty evenly can be a task. If you let them spill over unchecked. It will overflow right onto your children. They are very intuitive. Think of yourself as a child and the things your parents tried to hide from you. My mother may have had her secrets, we all do, but the essence of who she was and what she went through never escaped me. If you do not open up, others will draw their conclusions. If you do not open up, just remember others are not blind. Embracing who you are is always a good thing.
I cherish the time I have to meditate. I know for some meditation may not be your niche. There are plenty of avenues you can try to create solitude and clear your mind. Meditation is a way for me to release myself momentarily from all of my affairs but also how I feel about them. The clarity that brings can give you a new perspective on your obstacles, making them easier to overcome. It also allows you to sit in the midst of them untroubled while progress runs it’s coarse. Waiting is sometimes the best option you have. Mediation was a slow start for me. When you are not used to turning yourself off, it is very difficult to clear the clutter. Especially for an imaginative spirit like myself, daydreams surrounding a thousand and one scenarios. I found mantras were very helpful in the beginning.
However, anytime you can spend in solitude not thinking about your impending doom is good. I told you meditation helps me but I have many avenues of emotional release. I like to read, write, do yoga, tarot readings, and research online, mostly googling words. Sometimes these things are random and other times purposeful done. Find what works for you, I don’t recommend using sex or drugs of any kind including food to release emotion. Nothing wrong with sex or drugs or food for that matter, I have had my share but for emotional release, it can be toxic. You can create a dependency. If you must have a dependency it should be good for your mind, body, and soul.
“If I’m not doing to well, why be so hard on myself. Nobody’s perfect, I gotta work it. Again and again til I get it right. Nobody’s perfect, you live and you learn it ”Hannah Montana
Take some advice from a teen pop star and try again. No one can get it right 100 percent of the time but as long as you keep trying for yourself and for your child you have succeeded. I’m proud of you. Do not allow your emotions and fear to get the best of you. You are in control. You go out there play and have fun with your children. Peace is love, Madame Woo.