Hello There, Madame Woo here and welcome to Faithfully Madame. Relax, lay hold of this moment by delighting in a deep breath. Everything is fine, all is as it should be. Your life is of exceptional quality, you are vital and capable of bringing your true desire to fruition.
Over the moon, to have you join me. This is sure to be a learning experience for us both. Certain was I that I preferred for this blog to allow people to create their own understanding, instead of me attempting to impose it upon them. Believing wholeheartedly that knowledge is earned through understanding thus creating wisdom. No one can give you the truth, you must discover it for yourself.
I desire for us to inquire from the inside the imperative questions, demanding to be answered. You may not identify with everything you unearth here or want to pick up every seed and plant it. That is okay, this is about growth everything is not for everyone, be certain of that.
As a mother, I am often filled with thoughts of holding my barely born babies. Thinking back to when they laid in my arms as they suckled at my breasts. My only regret is that I did not cherish those moments more. I was stressed and often times disconnected.
They will not be an infant forever and you will miss the time before they could talk. This is often said but not believed. It is a marathon, not a sprint, enjoy the chaos and don’t try to make it anything, it is all of great significance to you and their creation.
The thing I have learned for sure is that you must adapt, this is general. The moment you remain stagnant, unchanged, is the day you die. Do not worry you can die and be reborn, this choice is your own.
When I first started on my journey as a mother, I felt foolish. I thought how could this be happening to a girl like me. I may not have always been the most obedient but I was sure I deserved a family of my own.
I became desperate, doing anything and everything I could think of to clean up my mess, my pretense. I felt society had marked me as a failure before I had even begun.
Can a fool prevent being a fool?
Does a fool know they are a fool? I think not.
I can tell you now, with clarity, that having a baby unwed did not make me a fool. It was my actions afterward that made me a fool, this I was ignorant of. There I was trying to figure out how to be society’s version of a real woman and a good mother.
I asked the question, how do I wash over my mistakes?
I was willing to do anything including begging a man who did not want me to be with me. What I needed I was to blind to see. I needed what I already had, my children. They were bestowed upon me for a reason.
Until I allowed myself to look at the present instead of the past I would never understand that reason.
Once you accept responsibility for your actions, you come to a special place. A place of realizing that there is no wrong or right way to live. But knowing what you want and being able to create that is the gift we have been given.
Motherhood, what does that entail and what does that mean to me?
I’m going to tell you something about me that I feel you must know if we are going to be friends. I like definitions. I’m quite bizarre when it comes to words. They bring meaning and equal comparison to my life. A definition can ground me and my thoughts. I rely on its consistency in a world full of chaos. Words have never failed me.
As a parent, you may have asked yourself similar questions about how you would execute this enormous task set before you. Here I am, wanting to raise my child, well what does raise mean. Not knowing what I expected to find, definitely not expecting to be enlightened. I mean really, it’s the definition of raise, who would expect anything but I looked it up anyway.
Raise means to lift or move to a higher position.
Now hold on, before you start thinking I’m completely deranged, yes I knew that technically. You may raise things above your head or raise up out of the bed in the morning. Yet, when I think of raising a child I don’t think of lifting or moving to a higher position.
Then I thought, why not, shouldn’t that be your main goal. Should you not want to lift your child to a higher position in life? Just like that, I have a new perspective on what it means to raise a child now.
One of the main roles in this life for me is being a mother. I grasp hold of that privilege for dear life, it is not something I discount. At times I reckon I lack conviction in my resolve. As a mother, I have been perplexed with many internal questions.
What is a mother?
How will I raise my child?
How am I to move my child to the next level?
Do I have a plan within my guidance and discipline that will assist my child in determining things for him or her self?
What knowledge am I passing on?
Am I proud of the job I am doing?
Be sure guardians, there is no sure-fire way to do anything, especially parent. No easy way to get hard things done. This undertaking will not be a cakewalk, as we all know well by now.
I did some research on the role of a mother, to better understand the task being asked of me. There were many opinions on the matter. Although within this research I wanted to discover more of the day to day tasks of a mother to confirm the things that I was doing, trying to build my confidence.
I came across information I found much more valuable than what I was searching for. In an opinion piece entitled “The Roles of Mothers” by Jose Ferdinand on Business Mirror, I found what I did not know I was looking for.
A man writing a piece to honor mothers on Mother’s Day gave me, a mother, hope. There lies the power in words. In summary, He writes, “the mother is the light of the home. Our mothers guide us through dark times. She offers that wisdom to help us make the right choices in our lives. There is not a perfect way to be a mother. The important thing is that a mother loves her children deeply. She should understand and listen to her children. This builds trust. When a mother nurtures her children well, love and goodness are awakened in the children’s hearts. Because of our mother’s love, we learn to love, as well we feel God’s love more profoundly. Mothers are trusted by God because souls are entrusted in their care which is why mothers need to exercise wisdom and righteousness throughout the days of her life. Motherhood is a great responsibility”.
Mindfulness is the biggest challenge we face in life, as a people we walk around oblivious to what truly matters. As guardians, we can not afford that luxury.
Think now of all the things your parent was unaware of regarding you. Now is the time, this is the generation of change, of thoughtfulness, to focus and be more aware of our personal relationships with our children. How can you lend that helping hand, if you are unaware of what your child needs to be lifted?
It’s not as simple as feeding, clothing, activities, and school. It’s not as simple as a job, a career, or higher education. We are raising up human beings, who thrive off of connection. You are that first true connection, the example.
You are the example, the information, the teacher, the world.
I ask myself, are you through growing and learning?
Are you willing to transform in order to accomplish your goals as a parent?
We are not perfect and it is okay to let our children see our imperfections. It is okay to let the world see our imperfections.
Being a mother is hard to put a finger on. But defining that for yourself is essential. You must know what you expect of yourself in order to reach your goals, this is general. I know people do what they can but I have no desire to be unsuccessful. But I must define that success for myself and not let others dictate to me who it is that I am or should be.
If there can be one thing I can accomplish in this life, something I can respect, it will be raising my child.
“change is the end result of all true learning”Leo Buscaglia
If you are so complacent that you feel like you have everything figured out, thinking you have reached a point where you can give advice but not take it. Then please take a moment to reevaluate yourself and your high position. We are all here to walk our own path and no two paths are the same.
No child is the same, no relationship between parent and child is the same. That is something to remember if you have multiple children, you can not parent each child the same. How do you expect to teach if right now in your life you are through growing, through learning?
It is okay to admit wrong and change. It is okay to learn until the day you die. It is okay to never figure it out. It is okay to be yourself, know what you want to see, and create it. I hope today that I have your wheels turning. I wish you all the best in all of your endeavors, as you discover more about yourself and your roles. Have a wonderfully blessed week with your child or children.
Peace is love, Madame Woo.